Are you Forgetting the Crucial Last Steps?
Are you Forgetting the Crucial Last Steps?
When you are completing a cleanup conversation, ensure that you agree to specific actions to deal with similar breakdowns in the future.
Insight: John, the new plant manager, was under pressure to get the plant back on track. When he didn't have the financial figures he needed for key decisions, he would become frustrated and get them directly from one of the accountants. The accountant was consistently distraught after these "encounters" with John and eventually initiated a cleanup conversation. I was asked to participate. After they sat down and successfully setup the discussion, the following conversation ensued:
Accountant: "Why are you always so furious at me? I simply can't give you the numbers until we get all the data."
John: "I'm not really mad at you. It's just frustrating when I don't have the numbers that I need to make decisions."
Accountant: "Well, the way you come into the office and yell at me, it feels like I'm getting berated."
John: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how it was impacting you. I just get frustrated, and I know it's not your fault. I'll do my best to not come in upset."
Here's where the conversation would typically end. Getting to the bottom of things often feels great. Once everyone understands the different perceptions of what happened, learned how they may have contributed to the issue, and made some commitments to avoid it in the future, people tend to relax.
However, in this feel-good state, people often forget a crucial last step: what will we do if this issue does arise again? There is a tendency to think that cleaning up the current issue will prevent it from happening again. This is naive. We all have patterns that are hard to break, and we will likely fall into the same trap over and over again.
Key Action: When you are completing a cleanup conversation, ensure that you agree to specific actions to deal with similar breakdowns in the future. If you don't, you may be setting yourself up for failure.
I asked, "What will happen if he does come in yelling again?" The accountant suggested that if he ever came in yelling, she would make a "timeout" symbol with her hands. John agreed: "Yeah, that will remind me of my agreement not to come in dumping my upset on you." Determining how to deal with the issue should it arise again is an important part of a successful cleanup.
Over the last few articles, we discussed several important steps of an effective cleanup conversation. These are summarized below:
Don't gossip! If you find yourself badmouthing a teammate, it's your clue that it's time to clean up an outstanding issue. (See article)
Set up the conversation by sharing your commitment to the relationship and your intent to resolve a concern. Invite them to explore the issue with you. (See article)
Bring curiosity to the conversation. Ask yourself: What is the other person's perspective? How did I contribute to the issue? (See article)
Make requests and commitments to each other that will support your work together in the future. Agree to specific actions to deal with similar breakdowns in the future.
Before completing, reconfirm your support for the other person and your commitment to a powerful working relationship.
So, make sure you don't stop at step 3 when a mutual understanding is reached and the conversation is starting to feel good. Discuss what's actually going to be different. What kind of commitments can you make to each other? What support might you offer or want? How will you deal with the situation if and when it happens again? Then, complete the conversation by reconfirming your commitment to the relationship.
By setting up a process to manage future incidents, you'll help minimize future tensions and more successfully build solid working relationships of mutual support.
